The Obligatory New Year Post.

Last night I spent a wonderful evening in with a small group of friends. The night included a controversial game of pop culture trivial pursuit, followed by many (many) rounds of Beatles Rock Band (thank you Wii). I now think I will quit my job and become a professional karaoke singer (if such a thing exists). I realized my limits after last year and have respected my alcohol allergy for the past year. Following this trend I had a champagne-esque bottle of sparkling pear juice - yum! Now, for the resolutions...

Being a person is complicated. Navigating relationships with other 'persons' is complicated still. There are people who thrive in relationships, they thrive with people, they are said 'people persons'. For me, it is just not so and I struggle often enough with just being myself, by myself. This all being said, 2009 has been a banner year for observing, acknowledging and changing. There is hope for next year.

My New Year Resolutions are part of a process towards change. They are continuations of changes that began in 2009 and in some cases - the next step in a process. These resolutions fall under a common theme: 'Self Care'. I have many aspirations for myself and am optimistic about the future.

Before I list my resolutions, here are my 2009 accomplishments:

1. Graduated with my Bachelor of Arts with minor student debt.
2. After a longer-than-expected job hunt, found a job that allows flexibility, creativity and plenty of new work experiences.
3. Began a process of taking better care of my body. In 2009 I lost 30lbs, began to exercise again and paid attention to what I ate and how it affects my body.
4. Did the Grouse Grind and enjoyed it.
5. Ended the year in a positive financial situation.
6. Went on three weekend trips to Seattle, Salt Spring Island and Portland, OR.
7. Saw several good movies and shows (most of which I credit to B).
8. Stuck with life, even though it threw me many a curve-ball this year.
9. Began to see a counselor. Acknowledged a need and desire for change.

In 2010 I hope to:

1. Create life-worth outside of my relationship. This resolution is all-encompassing and I was hesitant to post it as it acknowledges a serious lack of independence on my part. I do, at times, feel as though my relationship with B is the glue that holds it all together. As we all realize, relationships are a process. Sometimes during this process, life isn't all 'Sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows...' and I do feel like everything outside of the relationship will fall apart. Many of the following resolutions are smaller facets of this resolution.

2. Balance planning for the future with enjoying the moment. I spend a lot of my time planning my next move, no matter how far into the future it may fall. While I acknowledge that thought for the future is important, it takes over my life at times. I find myself forgetting moments and experiences and find that it was because I am rarely mentally present. So, slow down lady!

3. Invest in a quality wardrobe. This is important to me. For so long I have told myself to wait to buy nice clothing because I want to continue to lose weight. Unfortunately I constantly find myself with nothing to wear for any occasion (casual or not). This is intended to be an ongoing project beginning with shoes and including skirts, dresses, pants and undergarments. I need to buy some proper footwear that won't wear out in a month.

3a. Find a tailor and shoe-repair.

4. Read. This means spending less time on the internet, Sam.

5. Minimize what I own. And remember that I own my things, not the other way around.

6. Master the art of making french macarons.

7. Continue with where I left off in September with being healthy, active and on a weight-loss path. I will not post any weight-loss goals. I am more concerned with how I feel. When I feel right in body I will know I am at a good weight for myself.

8. Save money for future plans and a trip to Paris.

8a. Begin living my future plans and go to Paris!

9. Grow my hair long again. (Sorry post-grad hair cut)

10. Re-define my creative business. I am still unclear as to what will happen with Sam Made, but I am not willing to let go of it completely.

11. Get my driver's license. Yes, you heard me right. I do not have my driver's license as a result of a certain anxiety towards driving. It's going to be a process as we have a Graduated Licensing Program here in BC.

12. Communicate. I could put 'communicate more effectively' but I think a serious effort between communicating with those around me needs to come first. Communicate even when it is uncomfortable.

13. Find a doctor. Although I have found a fantastic walk-in clinic, they are for youth under 24 only and after my next birthday I will no longer qualify to go there.

14. Travel. I know I already said 'Go to Paris' but travel in general. I want to visit San Francisco, Chicago, New York, Portland (again) and several places around the world. I think we will keep it in North America this year (with the exception of Paris!).

15. Cultivate meaningful friendships. Oh friends, where did you go? We're all so busy and yet there is still always time. This has always been a struggle for me - but it is important. I have spent too many a night at home by myself because I can't think of anyone to call.

I think we will cap it at 15. What resolutions do you have?

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